Fullmetal Heart
by DreadPirateSephy
Summary: Another year, another mission, another world. It's just an average day for a seasoned traveler of alternate realities, but average is about to be thrown out the window. If he didn't have enough to deal with already, Envy finds himself the unwilling guardian to another pipsqueak, and this one likes to play with fire... Part three of the Exodus Chronicles, self-insert, much insanity.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm just taking it and playing with it for a while. I would also like to issue a few warnings, the first being that this is actually the third installment in the Exodus Chronicles (otherwise known as the Chronicles of the Exodus of a Self-Insert), but any major plot stuffs from the previous stories (which take place in other fandoms) WILL be covered here, so it isn't necessary to read either first. Not that I'll stop you if you really want to, though. Also, while there will be serious moments and a fair amount of action, given that I am a strange person and this is a self-insert, a majority of the following will probably end up COMPLETELY mostly ridiculous. Expect much insanity, my friends. But the fun, happy kind. :) And finally, there will be some fluffy moments every now and then, but any romance will follow the canon-only rules. Also of note: this will be following the plot of the graphic novels and the _Brotherhood_ series, with possible mentions of the _Sacred Star of Milos _movie. Right, then, now that the somewhat lengthy introduction is in order, carry on!

**Fullmetal Heart**

**Chapter 1: Suspended Reality**

The air hung heavy in the night, tense and waiting as if the sleeping city knew that something was about to happen that would change everything. A soft pulse of light began, and anyone who might happen to see it could easily mistake it for a firefly, though perhaps a bit fuzzier and more violet than most. A gentle breeze picked up, and the light sparkled excitedly, fluttering for a moment, and then stilled. A moment later and with a small sound like the ringing of a bell, the light burst open, flinging two strangers out onto the street. The male quickly caught himself and landed smoothly on his feet; his female companion wasn't quite so graceful, and ended up sprawled unceremoniously on the pavement. Both looked to be young adults, dressed quite strangely, and had a way about them that spoke of something… _peculiar_.

"Dammit, Z! WATCH THE LANDINGS!" the young woman snapped, rubbing her newest bruise and growling at the man standing over her with his arms crossed, looking none the worse for wear and rather bored.

"Hey, at least you aren't about to die or puke your guts out this time," he replied evenly, shrugging. "Personally, I think this is my best one yet."

"Tell that to my ASS," the woman muttered, standing stiffly. "Where are we this time, anyway?" she asked, glancing around curiously. Noticing the older styling of the buildings and startling lack of pollution and litter, she added to her query. "And while I'm at it… WHEN are we…?"

The man smirked, his stance shifting as he grinned over at her. "1914, Central City, Amestris," he answered in a tone of total self-satisfaction, which appeared completely justified when his companion's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"R-really…?" she breathed, leaning forward, and he nodded, only to have to clap his hands over his ears the next moment when she squealed delightedly. He watched her bouncing around in excitement with a half smile that fell when she froze, and the man backed up a step in concern.

"What?"

"Wait… _when_ are we…" she repeated, but the change in tone was so different that even a stranger would be able to tell that she meant something else entirely.

"Well…" the man hedged, and she frowned at his nervousness, zeroing in and pouncing as she walked slowly up to him.

"Well…" she repeated, drawing the word out and leaning in toward him. "Are we… can we make it…?" she asked, voice growing timid, pleading.

The man looked caught in an internal debate for several moments, before finally he sighed and relented. "You have five minutes," he said quietly, the expression on his face reading all too clearly that he was already regretting this decision. "That way." A nod in the proper direction. The girl smiled gratefully at him even as she turned to leave. "You might want to run!" he called after her, laughing softly as she immediately broke out into a dead sprint. "Good luck…" he muttered as he followed after her, much more sedately.

"The phone… hang it up…" a voice just ahead said. "Now."

"W-wait! Envy, wait!" cried the young woman as she burst through the bushes beside the phone booth. Or, as she had dubbed it in her head during the mad dash here, the "phone booth of fate and doom". She took the moment of complete and total shock in the two men—well, one and a half, sort of—to brace herself and attempt to catch her breath. "Damn," she hissed. "One month away from battles of life and death and I fall all to hell…" she muttered, quite irritated with her own failing endurance.

"Um, what…?" began one of the others, Envy, she guessed, but she held up a hand to cut them off.

"Hold up a sec, guys… damn, I really hate running…" she said, still a bit breathless. "Whoo… ok…" After a deep breath, she straightened, realizing that she now had two very confused, armed, and agitated men staring at her with what might be the most hilarious expressions she'd seen since her adventures in Midgar. That thought brought a familiar stab of homesickness that was quickly forced aside, though it had served one purpose in quelling the laughter that had almost escaped. "Um, right, moving right along… Envy, you might as well lose the disguise. You're missing the teeny mole under the left eye anyway. And put the gun away, if you please. I'd rather you not go killing Lt. Col. Hughes, if it's all the same."

"Who the hell do you think you are to just come bursting in here and ordering me around?!" Envy shouted in angry confusion. She noted, however, that he had lowered the gun. Point one for sheer randomness.

"Ah, yes… Let me explain…" she began, then paused thoughtfully. "No, there is too much. Let me sum up…"

"What is it with you and movie quotes?" her friend asked, smirking, and she was unsurprised to see him leaning casually against the phone booth. Envy and Hughes both jumped slightly, but there was something about the man that checked their instinct to raise their weapons.

The woman, however, glared at him, hands on her hips. "Probably the same thing with you and explosives," she snapped back. "Now stop interrupting me!" The man held up his hands in a display of innocence, grinning, and then waved them toward the two people watching them in utter confusion. The woman growled at him in irritation, rolled her eyes, and turned back to her captive audience. "Ignore the idiot. Anyway, allow me to introduce myself. Hi there. I'm Mara, and the dumbass you see before you is Azriel, angel of destruction, interdimensional travels, and being my guardian and eternal headache. Pleasure to meet you." The bright smile she gave them might have been what tipped the whole situation over the edge and into total lunacy, taking with it functioning thought. Hughes seemed more or less broken, staring blankly at the two of them, while Envy just went all out and burst into uncontrollable laughter. Mara sighed, glancing over at Azriel. "Ya know," she commented to him, "one of these days I'm going to figure out how to keep my damn mouth shut."

"Right. That'll be the day the worlds end."

A small voice caught her attention, and snapped her back into the reality of her surroundings. Her humor faded, outweighed by the gravity of the situation as she solemnly walked over and gently hung up the phone, through which Col. Mustang's panicked voice squeaked out. Hughes watched her quietly, suspicious, but his intuition told him this girl wasn't a threat. At least until she looked up at him sadly, and he somehow knew that he wasn't going to like what was coming. Mara sighed, and stepped between Hughes and Envy. "Right, we don't exactly have a lot of time, so I'll make this quick. Azriel and I are obviously not from around here. We've been sent in to help this world through its time of crisis, and keep the bloodshed to a minimum. But, well, sitting around and just letting things happen has never really been my style… And while it's true that the murder of Lt. Col. Hughes will provide the catalyst needed to get the ball rolling, so to speak, I can't sit back and watch two lives destroyed when there's so much as the possibility of an alternative."

"Two lives…?" Envy echoed, crackling as he dropped his disguise. "What do you mean by "two lives destroyed"?"

Mara pinned him with a steady stare. "I know you felt it, the magnitude of this moment, the impossible weight of a single bullet… The second you pull that trigger, you sign your own death warrant."

Envy scoffed, but the chill that ran down his spine as he caught her eyes brought in a wave of sudden doubts. He was silent for a moment as he studied the young woman watching him steadily, and as much as he hated to admit it, even if just to himself, there was something in those brown eyes that he simply couldn't ignore. The small part of him that could actually feel wondered if it was honesty. He inhaled sharply, suddenly irritated. "How would _you_ know?" he sneered contemptuously. He was a little flustered when her only reaction was a tiny smirk.

"Because I've watched this world," she replied, voice soft and heavy with the weight of _knowing_. "I've seen what lies at the end of the path you're walking down, and I've felt the pain that waits there. And trust me, I wouldn't be here if it were pleasant." Silence reigned for several long moments, until finally, Hughes found his voice.

"So what's your plan…?" He was not at all comforted when her first reaction was to laugh.

When Hughes shot her a stern glower, she forced the nervous giggling aside and focused. "Oh, you were serious… ok, well for starters… the plan is to make Lt. Col. Hughes disappear…" Yup. He definitely hated that idea.

* * *

**A/N: I should probably also take a moment to mention that this story will, for all intents and purposes, be taking canon and running with it. Some things will stay the same, some things might be a little different, and some things will be totally turned upside-down. Just a little warning. **


End file.
